i’ve always been a natural light photographer. for many different reasons. the main reason: i have never known how to properly use my flash. there i said it. it’s out there.

that however, is no longer the case. i just spent the weekend with nothing but my flash on. for two days straight when my shutter clicked, my flash fired. i am a whole new woman. i am forever changed.

i’m definitely on flash overload, but am so excited to implement when appropriate.

big hugs and thanks to miss wendy who will be getting her very own post later in the week. would be lost without this woman.

the above is a self portrait inspired by wendy herself.

life has been crazy these days, and i was finally able to make it to the gym in the morning before baker left for work. i was feeling really bleh. not sure exactly what it was, but i was just not feeling it. when i got out of the car to make my way in i looked down and felt like i totally looked pregnant. how in the world did that happen? i like to blame it on the c-section. never again will my body ever be the same. ever! dane just turned one. so i really have no excuse.

so rather then work really hard to get back to my fighting weight, i picked up a pregnancy book hoping everyone in the place would think i was pregnant. seriously? who does that?

i guess i can’t get offended if some lady in line at the grocery store asks how far along i am. maybe she saw me at the gym reading my pregnancy books. totally got her.

they make my job really really easy! working on some engagements, and this one caught my eye. giddiness is oozing. i like when things ooze. can’t wait to share the rest with you.

and if you want to know me, you should know her. and if you want to know my husband, you should know her. she is like the perfect mix of the two of us. it’s incredible to see. she surprises me every day with the things she says, and knows. and she is not even three! she has her dad’s passion and determination. i love that about her. she knows how to work a room, a trait that she got from me before i was married, and she’s got more love to share then she knows what to do with, and she never gives up.

case in point. she was watching yo gabba gabba when the “cool tricks” segment came on and she saw a little kid balancing a spoon on her nose. she mastered the skill within a minute. love her to pieces.

i don’t know when to put down the fork.

seriously, i don’t. and not even just the fork. the spoon, the chopsticks, the skewer, my hand. if it transports food from one place to my mouth, i physically can not put it down. i could literally eat popcorn for an entire movie if the bucket didn’t run out. i can eat more slices of pizza then i would like to admit, and please oh please do not ask me how many double stuffed oreos i could take down in one sitting. please don’t.

i had to pick up a dessert for a church function last night, and while i was at the bakery i laid eyes on the most beautiful looking eclair’s i have ever seen. i don’t even like chocolate that much, but i couldn’t resist. i got home, and it was seriously gone within two minutes.

wondering why there is already a bite taken out of it? well, ummm, i may or may not have broken into the box at the first red light. don’t judge. and why isn’t the fork dirty you ask? who needs a fork when you have your very own hands. pathetic.

there seems to be a common denominator in my over indulgences. my bare hands. so unless i am willing to chop em off i better get on top of my self control.

easier said then done.

and can you tell here how much little bailey really didn’t want to be here this day? poor thing! she is still so ding dang cute.

luckily for me i have all these sweet nieces to curb the hunger.

it was rather chilly outside, so i was pleased to get what i did in a matter of minutes. seriously like two. who wants to keep a little baby out in the snow like that? i only torture my own kids in this way.. not others.

thanks again guys for asking me to do this. those moments for all the group shots where every kid was perfectly still and pleasant and cooperating actually may have convinced me that i like big family shoots. never have i had one this easy!

i’m a mother. and my biggest fear is losing a child or my husband. biggest. so i was mortified when i heard the news about emily jones losing her husband after a climbing trip with his family over thankgiving weekend at the nutty putty caves in utah. you can read about the whole store here.

emily and john had a 2yr old, and were expecting another baby in june. how do you even? my heart really hurts for her, for him, for the kids, the family, for everyone.

not too long ago my friends sister lost her daughter to a drowning accident. she was the same age as my little emmy. my heart hurt for her, especially as i read her blog and rode that journey with her. i have seen so much strength and courage from a woman who went through my worst nightmare.. something i don’t know that i could ever recover from. stephanie from a daily scoop is a strong strong women that i aspire to be. truely.

how do the two of these people fuse together? two strangers, suffering different loses? well stephanie has decided to pay it forward for all the love and kindness that had been shown to her while she was going through her own tragedy.

stephanie is hosting a memorial auction on her blog where 100% of the proceeds will go to the emily jones and the family.

and i donated a photo session.

you can go to her website to bid on over a hundred different goods and services to contribute to the memorial. go take a look, make a bid, and help a family out. it’s christmas for goodness sakes.

my session auction is here.

the rest of the auctions are here.

or you can donate directly here.